I dOnT WAnNA gROw UPPPP yEt......

My life has drastically changed since my last entry.  Everyday I've had to grow up a little more and leave my carefree childhood behind.  I remember hearing my seniors say that the best years are those while you're still studying, whether it is in school or university.  Those are the years to cherish.  I've always believed that I would prefer working life to school life, but I'm not sure that's how I feel right now.

My dad passed away at 11.20 on Thursday, June 29, 2006 from cancer of the lung, which spread to the brain, then to the liver and finally the kidney. About 6 months after the diagnosis, his heart gave out.  The next day we held the wake at Holy Redeemer Church, followed by the cremation the following day, and finally we buried his remains at St. Nicholas Church at Pattaya.  It was over in 3 days.  What is left is a business to be run by a 23 year old daughter and a handful of staff, and mourning wife.  My father worked hard his whole life for his family and he worked especially hard to build up the company for me these last 4-5 years.  Despite his efforts, our family was never really wealthy, but that's partially because my father was not a very ambitious man.  As long as he enjoyed his work, and his pay was reasonable, he was happy and so were we.  We lived comfortably.  I daresay, while growing up, I did not have the life of a "Khun Noo", but I got just about everything I asked for.  I believe I've lived a relatively sheltered life compared to many people my age.  My parents never wanted me to have to fight my way up the bloody corporate ladder, have to endure office politics, abuse from asshole superiors, etc.  They just wanted to train me from the bottom (and indeed they did; I was waiting in line at the post office every other day for a year or so - yes, the daughter of the owner of the company) and eventually hand over the reins in good time.  Unfortunately, the reins were not exactly handed over in good time, but were more like thrust into my hands before the time was right.  Dad was always a workaholic, he loved being a lawyer, his work was one of the things which kept him going, he enjoyed working.  He always said that if he ever completely stopped working and keeping active, it would probably kill him.  Because I know my dad, I am quite certain that his last words wouldn't have been "I love you".  On the contrary, they would probably have been "Take care of the company".  Unfortunately, I'm the opposite from my Dad.  Law isn't exactly my passion, but something I can't avoid...now more than ever.  Some of my friends ask me, "if you don't want to do the job, why don't you just quit and sell it off or something?"  Things in life just aren't that easy.  If my father was still alive and I did such a thing, I would be called ungrateful and it would break my parents' heart because they put their heart, soul and energy into this company.  It is his legacy which I must continue.  It is a promise which I made to him at his funeral.  And it is therefore a promise I cannot break. 

Such devastating events aside, since my last entry I've attended conferences in New Delhi and Toronto.  New Delhi, India was interesting though shocking.  We stayed at a 5-star hotel and honestly, outside the walls of the hotel was a different world altogether.  Beggars were to be found on every street.  They would follow you persistently and once you take pity and give in to one of them, a whole crowd swarms in on you.  I've been to Vietnam and Myanmar which are also considered poor countries, and I can tell you that the poor there are nothing like that of India.  The poor in Vietnam and Myanmar are undeniably poor, yet they are not miserable.  They may lead difficult lives, but you can still catch occasional smiles on their faces. On the contrary, in India they are the portrait of misery.  An associate missed the shuttle bus from my hotel to his hotel late one night and decided to take the 5 minute walk back to his hotel.  Once he stepped out of the gates of my hotel, he nearly stumbled over a beggar sleeping on the sidewalk.  All along the way, he was hopping over and avoiding homeless people in the dark.  I tried taking a photo of a food vendor and once he and his pals saw me pointing a camera in his direction, he immediately shouted out "10 rupees!"  When you ask taxi drivers about good places to shop, they'll take you to all the larger shops where they get commission for introducing customers; even the nicest ones do this.  You don't know where to catch a cab, and you walk up to a small police box and ask him if he could help you call one.  Once he makes the call, he'll ask you for 30 rupees just for dialling the cab number.  

          Some sights in India 

Traffic over there is quite frightening really.  You would think that driving in Thailand is tricky and requires a lot of guts, but it is nothing in comparison with New Delhi where people honk their horns non-stop and sometimes for no apparent reason.  I walked past a car that was simply parked along a road and the driver inside was sitting there honking his horn in to some Indian music on the radio!  When I asked the cab driver why many cars in India don't have side view mirrors, he said they just weren't necessary and are often a nuisance.  Merely the back view mirror is enough and he can see everything he needs to see through that.  And for us, side view mirrors are a MUST!

Spectacular historical sights in India

Apart from the appalling sights and sounds of New Delhi, the culture and civilisation were definitely not a disappointment.  The Taj Mahal was a stunning piece of marble architecture.  Much of the inside wall was inlaid with jewels some of which can still be seen if you shine a flashlight toward the wall inside the tomb.  The second photo is of a fort in the city of Agra, another one of India's ancient cities.  The third, if I'm not mistaken, is one of the surrounding buildings or gateways in the compound of the Taj Mahal.  Visiting the Taj Mahal was one of places to visit before I die so I'm really glad I got to go there.  Despite the depressing atmosphere that I experienced while I was there, I wouldn't mind going back again, but this time it would be backpacking with friends and not in a suit and high heels.

The next trip was to Toronto, Canada.  During my week there, I found Toronto to be a peaceful, clean and friendly city.  Streets seemed to be arranged in blocks like in the US.  Wish Bangkok could be like that, but I suppose they would have to tear down and rebuild the whole city for that to be possible  One of my mum's best friends lives there and she and her husband took us around town.  One evening they took us for a walk by the harbour and it was astonishing and refreshing to see  that at around 17.00 on a weekday, people had left their workplace and were sailing off the harbour.  In Asia, 17.00 wouldn't mean anything, just that work must unofficially continue (at least in my profession).  I wish I could just drop everything after official working hours and enjoy myself.  People there just seem to be able to maintain a good quality of life.  I admire that. 

My colleague and I had one entire day free of meetings and other obligations so we seized the opportunity to visit the famous Niagara Falls.  I never knew that the current could be so strong and while it was a breathtaking sight, it was also quite scary.  If anyone fell into the water, I doubt they would survive.

The Niagara Falls

The next conference I'll have to attend will be in November in Kaohsiung, Taiwan.  I heard there isn't very much to see there, but I may have been misinformed.  So if anyone knows of anything that MUST BE SEEN there, do let me know!!!!  Or anything that MUST BE EATEN, again, do let me know!!!  Sometime between now and January 2007 I'll have to make a trip to Beijing, China...really looking forward to that trip.  Always loved going to China; so many things to see and do.  Very fascinating!

Anyway, that's it for this long entry.  Work's been so busy lately, but I'll try to post an update or two from time to time.  Although work now occupies most of my time and actually needs to occupy just about all of it, I just don't feel it's right to let it take over my life.  Plus, I don't think I'll survive working 24/7/365 anyway!

Currently Listening Ultra Blue By Hikaru Utada see related

"Skipped a few months but still alive after the exams!"

Ahhhh....have been away from xanga for sooo long!  Much has happened since my last entry - the London blasts, my nerve wrecking exams, 10 day trip to Holland, a couple of days in Devon and Cornwall, and finally I'm back in Thailand again.

Firstly, the horrible events....the London blasts were unfortunate and shocking as well as scary and life threatening occuring nearby the library I frequented daily....the exams were as exhausting, strenous and difficult as could be expected and hopefully I fared well.  I'll soon find out in November when the results are posted.  Fingers crossed I'll be attending the graduation ceremony in December in London as a graduate.

My trip to Holland, on the other hand, was great!  As my friend had to work on weekdays, I took the train to different towns and cities just about everyday; The Hague, Leiden, Gorinchem, Rotterdam, Scheveningen, Breda, Amersfoort, etc.  Walked so much on this trip my legs and feet ached everyday.  Suspect I may have lost a few kilos too.  Over the weekend Punch drove us over the border to Belgium which was just over an hour away from the town we were in and the next weekend we visited a couple of outlets where I was able to do a bit of shopping.

Leiden was my favourite town.  It was like a little Venice of Holland with canals running throughout the town.  It differs in that most of the people speak English and the canals don't stink!  A very charming town with pretty houses along the small lanes and roads branching out from the main road where the canal ran.

And during this visit to Holland, I was finally able to visit The Hague or Den Haag as they call it, the home of the ICJ (Int'l Court of Justice or the Peace Palace as they also call it).  I'm not too big a fan of int'l law, but hey, I keep hearing about it in my studies so it felt good to actually be able to stand in front of the building itself.  Would've took a tour inside too, but luck just wasn't on my side.  At least I got a pic in front of it though...heheh  The city itself had lots of old architecture to offer such as the Peace Palace, the Binnenhof, Palace Noordeinde, The Prison Gate, City Hall, etc.

Near The Hague is a town called Scheveningen which is by the seaside.  So of course I took the opportunity to take a peek at their beach and see how it would compare to our Thai beaches and turns out, as suspected, Thai beaches rule!!!  Naturally, we're in the tropics while they're way up there, so ain't no surprise.  Nevertheless, had a nice walk along the beach and took tons of pics of some adorable sculptures.

Also took the opportunity to visit Madurodam, a tourist attraction which houses a miniature version of Holland.  Must say that the work was very detailed and one of the best miniature attractions I've seen yet, very impressive indeed!!!

I visited Gorichem because I was heading to Castle Loevestein.  I was dying to visit a castle and went all the way there and took a ferry ride over to the island where the castle was.  The weather was rather hot that day, the temperature in the mid 20 degrees but inside the castle it was very cool as if there actually was air-conditioning.  I was aware of the fact that castles were cool in summer due to construction using stone, but I never knew the difference in the temperature between the outside and inside would be so different!  It was very pathetic but I was actually looking around for some sort of air-conditioner while I was inside.  I was so busy taking pics I missed the last ferry back to the mainland and ended up sharing a boat with a local family who were taking their kids and their friends for an outing to celebrate their son's birthday to a nearby island in hope that there'd be some sort of transportation to the mainland from there.  And luckily for me, I was in time to catch the last ferry.  I cant imagine spending the night at Castle Loevestein.  Would probably be haunted by the castle ghosts at night!

Rotterdam has long been known as an important port city and is also known for its modern unique architecture.  I wasn't very keen on visiting Rotterdam to see modern architecture as I was more interested in "old stuff", but having spent a few hours there, I suppose it does have a charm of its own.

Just sooo many pics but little space!  Would be overdoing it a bit by putting up pics from Cornwall and Devon.  Will have em up on www.photobucket.com or otherwise in my next entry.  I'm back in Bangkok now but I find myself missing London.  Exam results will be posted November 22nd and the graduation ceremony will be held on December 14th.  Hopefully, I'll be in London that day.  You'll definitely see a pic of me in my graduation gown in here.

"The last bit of fun for me before d-day..."

I finally got my exam schedule yesterday and i must say i hate August 2005...actually, i hate 2005....full of traumatic experiences despite some sprinkles of good cheer here and there.  And my unlucky numbers for this year are August 8, 15, 22 and 25!!!  Damn....an exam juz about every monday in August.   I think i can actually feel a migraine building up juz thinking bout them. 

Though 2005 has been relatively shitty, i have learnt a fair bit:

*  especially the pain i had inflicted on others in the past 

*  and hence the existence of karma,

*  that there is more grey than absolute black and white in life (though i've always believed that there are no absolutes, i guess my beliefs have been further confirmed),

*  you often cant rely on anyone apart from yourself,

*  when you're in a relationship NEVER let yourself believe that it'll last forever....in past relationships at some point i always said to myself that this may be it, but i've learnt that life ain't that easy...better to stay on your toes and have your bags packed ready to move on, at least emotionally..heheh

*  to not judge others when i do not agree with their actions as i am probably unaware of the whole nature of their situation and there may be other factors influencing their actions/decisions

*  and the scariest thing....i'm more selfish and immoral than i ever thought i was.  The power of the dark side can juz be so tempting....heheh

Watched Batman Begins on sunday.  What can i say....home made weapons, learning ninja skills from the orient (so cliche and typical of western movies these days - lately farangs just have this trendy fascination for the exotic orient!), a crude looking tank for the bat mobile whose brakes don't function, the first bat signal in the night sky created by tying a criminal up with lots of extra black cloth (wonder how long that took him to get right) ....to sum it up , "Graceless Batman", i suppose.  I actually heard a Thai on the street say ˹ѧàÃ×èͧ¹ÕéÁѹ sucks ÇèÐ.  Sorry Paddy, all this must be breaking your heart, but it is a matter of opinion.  Reminded me of the first part of Spiderman actually.  I guess all the superheroes have to start off clumsy and graceless.  Still, those were my first impressions when i was watching it.  Overall, i think it was alright.  Christian Bale and Katie Holmes weren't bad...loved Alfred.

Spent a few days with Siri while she was here.  Was wonderful having her here.  We caught up on a lot things and seems like she's quite happy with life at the moment and i'm so glad for her. 

Below are some pics from my college's Thai Society BBQ.  The weather's warming up in London so we had a last get together, though we picked a day that was kinda gloomy.....otherwise the UK's warmed up perhaps a little too much...hit 30 degrees celcius over the weekend and many buildings here dont have AC, like my room and the library i frequent for instance.  I know, i know...i come from a tropical climate and i'm complaining about the heat in Europe...juz a miserable 30 degrees and often less....but u guyz with AC dont know how it feels without it!!! 

What everyone was here for!!! nah...   P'Khem and I striking some kinda pose  Kris, Earth, me, P'Khem and P'Jeab 

Cool pic of Thi..man on fire! / Uhh...remind anyone of hobos on the street??? / P'Poy, P'Pong, P'Mint, P'U and P'Ae

Looks like P'Pong's been caught in the act!  / The Musician, the Khun Chai, and the Diligent Student / P'Poy and I 

Earth & Kris starting the fire the old fashioned way...lotsa fanning! / Jay and I / P'U and P'Ae gnawing away at their chicken

"Been a while....time sure does fly!"

Been over a month since my last update.  So much to say, so little time, so little diligence to, but do wanna update!

Where to start?!  ok, 2 trips since i last updated - one to Stonehenge and Salisbury with Kit and Tay and the the other to Blenheim Palace in Oxford with Gary.  Unfortunately, the weather wasn't altogether pleasant on both trips, rather cold on the first and was raining on the second, but all in all, they were fun.  Stonehenge was smaller and less spectacular than everyone expected, but how can you not visit the place when you're in the UK!!!  Salisbury Cathedral, the highlight of Salisbury, was nice, not particularly breathtaking, but had a nice atmosphere.  Saw the infamous Magna Carta there too....one of 2 or 3 remaining original copies.  Too bad photography was not permitted.  As for Blenheim Palace, it was beautiful!  A very nice palace...lovely gardens...even the rain didnt stop us from walking in the gardens and taking pics...yes, we were very determined indeed.

                      Tay, I and Kit at Stonehenge                      Me with the "piles of stones" in the background

(1) Me again...heheh..  (2) Tay and Kit sneeking bites of their croissants cautiously at the back of the coach in case the driver caught them eating!  And yes, Tay was actually trying to stick part of his head into his bag   (3) Goofing off with Tay

                               Shots of Salisbury Cathedral

Bridge in front of the palace gates           Blenheim Palace                   The Water Garden

(1) Gary leaping for joy?!  Didn't think I'd catch that one did you Gary!!                                                                     (2) And that's me in the rain but determined to get a cute pic...

                                        Gary and I   

Apart from escaping London, caught The Kingdom of Heaven with Patrick, and Star Wars Episode III and Mr. and Mrs. Smith with Jay.  Must say I enjoyed all three movies.  Was looking forward to watching The Kingdom of Heaven for a while...it was worth the wait..and NOT cuz Orlando Bloom's in it, although his character in this movie redeemed the other in Troy where I was praying he'd be the next to die in every scene.  The movie emphasised that in the fight over Jerusalem, all that squabble over the city, it's not really the land that matters the most, but the people inhabiting it.  Star Wars was just classic as usual.  R2D2 was hilarious!!!  I didnt know it could sort of screech or squeal until I watched this part!  And as for Mr. and Mrs. Smith, it was really funny too...laughed a lot..assassin married couple who arent aware of one another's identity.  I recommend watching it though I dont altogether like the ending; didnt really make sense to me, but good entertainment all the same.  I guess it's trying to tell you that honesty is the most important thing in a relationship.  Hmm...kinda find it strange that I enjoyed all the movies I watched this much....could it be that it's cuz I dont have a tv here?!  That would juz sooo saddd!!!  No, no..they WERE good!

Siri and P'Keng flew in on Friday and will be here for about a week.  Will probably be meeting up with her tomorrow.  So excited to see her!!!  It's wonderful to have a close friend from home here!  Really improves my gloomy, stressful existence here...heheh.  With regard to studies, joined a couple more study groups, hoping to form a new one...and praying that everything will work out and I'll be able to return home with that piece of paper that costed a couple of million baht and caused me all sorts of pain and sufferring, physical, emotional, you name it!!!

"Counting down till finals...May - June - July - August....."

Life is finally back to normal with family gone, Tam gone (friend from Thailand that was visiting me) and the start of the third term.  Finals are not in the distant future anymore and it's finally time to start counting down...and the clock starts ticking..now!  Wouldn't be freaking out if I was in Bangkok, but over here my courses are really tough in addition to my doing more or less nothing for the past 5-6 months.  Soooo much material to cover!

Enough of that....while Tam was here we had a blast visiting all the tourist attractions (turning pro soon, in terms of tour guide, so if any of you are planning on visiting London, juz holler!) - Tower of London (4th time!), Bath, Cotswold, watched Phantom of the Opera, Buckingham Palace (3rd time!), London Eye (2nd time!), Swindon outlet, and took the rest of the London shopping district by storm...heheh...yeah, seemed like my friend had an unlimited budget.   Had hell of a time dragging his two suitcases to Paddington Stations to board the Heathrow Express to the airport...both handles on one suitcase have come off so go figure!

I must say that our best outings were to Swindon where lotsa shopping was done...prices cut down 50% in some cases, Bath and the Cotswold - beautiful scenery, and the Phantom of the Opera musical which was simply fabulous, marvelous, breathtaking, unforgettable...I dunno, it was my first musical and I was sooo impressed!  Loved it!  Would even watch it again.  If you're into musicals or have the opportunity to watch one, I definitely recommend it.

This friend of mine is peculiar in one way; he's rather shy and doesn't like crowds (not the usual, "I don't like crowded places", but really can't bear it, which I'm assuming is due to self-consciousness) - he wont take photos when there are many people around.  We had to wait for the crowds to subside a fair bit wherever we went (which, on the upside, often got us nicer pics).  As a result, and also due to time constraints and coincidence, we ended up taking lotsa pics of London by night.  And yes, there were so few people around that we could go crazy in front of the camera. 

                                                       Here are just a few we took nearby the London Eye.           

               Houses of Parliament                        Tower Bridge                                London Eye

We took a day trip to Bath and Cotswold.  The city of Bath houses the old Roman baths supossedly nearly 2000 years old.  Water in these baths are supplied by a nearby hot spring believed to have the ability to improve health, increase vitality and also cure a variety of ailments.  The city itself is charming with a number of beautiful spots to see such as the Circus and the Royal Crescent.  As for Cotswold, we only had time to visit a small section of it, a preserved village to be exact.  The quaint little village is full of small stone houses.  Its atmosphere is so serene being surrounded by trees and hills.

                    Roman Bath                              Scenery in Bath                               Cotswold 

Below is the Circus.  It is simply a circle of private houses built in the style of Palladian palaces.  Though they are merely houses which are to this day occupied, the Circus is lovely.  It's quite a feeling to be standing in the middle of it which is a large circular patch of grass with old trees in the center and whichever way you turn you see the continuous row of houses.  Below are three pics I took and have put together in order to try to give you a feel of the "circular" feeling you get when you're there (just imagine the other half of the circle yourself..heheh).

                                                                                        The Circus

                                                                            Just some random pics...

Arrrrghhh....still got so many pics I'd like to put up but can't....anyway, if anyone's interested in seeing more of these sites or of me and my friend..heheh...then just click:

http://photobucket.com/albums/v665/carolinewong/Easter%20Vacation%20with%20Tam/   (password's caroline)

Hope everyone's been doing well lately, free from illness (esp. colds!  lotsa that going round here in London!), and those of you who are going through your exam period - BEST OF LUCK!!!   Have a great weekend y'all!