MuayMing's Xanga

I dOnT WAnNA gROw UPPPP yEt......

Sat, 15 Jul 2006 17:57:02 GMT

My life has drastically changed since my last entry. Everyday I've had to grow up a little more and leave my carefree childhood behind. I remember hearing my seniors say that the best years are those while you're still studying, whether it is in school or university. Those are the years to cherish. I've always believed that I would prefer working life to school life, but I'm not sure that's how I feel right now.

My dad passed away at 11.20 on Thursday, June 29, 2006 from cancer of the lung, which spread to the brain, then to the liver and finally the kidney. About 6 months after the diagnosis, his heart gave out. The next day we held the wake at Holy Redeemer Church, followed by the cremation the following day, and finally we buried his remains at St. Nicholas Church at Pattaya. It was over in 3 days. What is left is a business to be run by a 23 year old daughter and a handful of staff, and mourning wife. My father worked hard his whole life for his family and he worked especially hard to build up the company for me these last 4-5 years. Despite his efforts, our family was never really wealthy, but that's partially because my father was not a very ambitious man. As long as he enjoyed his work, and his pay was reasonable, he was happy and so were we. We lived comfortably. I daresay, while growing up, I did not have the life of a "Khun Noo", but I got just about everything I asked for. I believe I've lived a relatively sheltered life compared to many people my age. My parents never wanted me to have to fight my way up the bloody corporate ladder, have to endure office politics, abuse from asshole superiors, etc. They just wanted to train me from the bottom (and indeed they did; I was waiting in line at the post office every other day for a year or so - yes, the daughter of the owner of the company) and eventually hand over the reins in good time. Unfortunately, the reins were not exactly handed over in good time, but were more like thrust into my hands before the time was right. Dad was always a workaholic, he loved being a lawyer, his work was one of the things which kept him going, he enjoyed working. He always said that if he ever completely stopped working and keeping active, it would probably kill him. Because I know my dad, I am quite certain that his last words wouldn't have been "I love you". On the contrary, they would probably have been "Take care of the company". Unfortunately, I'm the opposite from my Dad. Law isn't exactly my passion, but something I can't avoid...now more than ever. Some of my friends ask me, "if you don't want to do the job, why don't you just quit and sell it off or something?" Things in life just aren't that easy. If my father was still alive and I did such a thing, I would be called ungrateful and it would break my parents' heart because they put their heart, soul and energy into this company. It is his legacy which I must continue. It is a promise which I made to him at his funeral. And it is therefore a promise I cannot break.

Such devastating events aside, since my last entry I've attended conferences in New Delhi and Toronto. New Delhi, India was interesting though shocking. We stayed at a 5-star hotel and honestly, outside the walls of the hotel was a different world altogether. Beggars were to be found on every street. They would follow you persistently and once you take pity and give in to one of them, a whole crowd swarms in on you. I've been to Vietnam and Myanmar which are also considered poor countries, and I can tell you that the poor there are nothing like that of India. The poor in Vietnam and Myanmar are undeniably poor, yet they are not miserable. They may lead difficult lives, but you can still catch occasional smiles on their faces. On the contrary, in India they are the portrait of misery. An associate missed the shuttle bus from my hotel to his hotel late one night and decided to take the 5 minute walk back to his hotel. Once he stepped out of the gates of my hotel, he nearly stumbled over a beggar sleeping on the sidewalk. All along the way, he was hopping over and avoiding homeless people in the dark. I tried taking a photo of a food vendor and once he and his pals saw me pointing a camera in his direction, he immediately shouted out "10 rupees!" When you ask taxi drivers about good places to shop, they'll take you to all the larger shops where they get commission for introducing customers; even the nicest ones do this. You don't know where to catch a cab, and you walk up to a small police box and ask him if he could help you call one. Once he makes the call, he'll ask you for 30 rupees just for dialling the cab number.

Some sights in India

Traffic over there is quite frightening really. You would think that driving in Thailand is tricky and requires a lot of guts, but it is nothing in comparison with New Delhi where people honk their horns non-stop and sometimes for no apparent reason. I walked past a car that was simply parked along a road and the driver inside was sitting there honking his horn in to some Indian music on the radio! When I asked the cab driver why many cars in India don't have side view mirrors, he said they just weren't necessary and are often a nuisance. Merely the back view mirror is enough and he can see everything he needs to see through that. And for us, side view mirrors are a MUST!

Spectacular historical sights in India

Apart from the appalling sights and sounds of New Delhi, the culture and civilisation were definitely not a disappointment. The Taj Mahal was a stunning piece of marble architecture. Much of the inside wall was inlaid with jewels some of which can still be seen if you shine a flashlight toward the wall inside the tomb. The second photo is of a fort in the city of Agra, another one of India's ancient cities. The third, if I'm not mistaken, is one of the surrounding buildings or gateways in the compound of the Taj Mahal. Visiting the Taj Mahal was one of places to visit before I die so I'm really glad I got to go there. Despite the depressing atmosphere that I experienced while I was there, I wouldn't mind going back again, but this time it would be backpacking with friends and not in a suit and high heels.

The next trip was to Toronto, Canada. During my week there, I found Toronto to be a peaceful, clean and friendly city. Streets seemed to be arranged in blocks like in the US. Wish Bangkok could be like that, but I suppose they would have to tear down and rebuild the whole city for that to be possible One of my mum's best friends lives there and she and her husband took us around town. One evening they took us for a walk by the harbour and it was astonishing and refreshing to see that at around 17.00 on a weekday, people had left their workplace and were sailing off the harbour. In Asia, 17.00 wouldn't mean anything, just that work must unofficially continue (at least in my profession). I wish I could just drop everything after official working hours and enjoy myself. People there just seem to be able to maintain a good quality of life. I admire that.

My colleague and I had one entire day free of meetings and other obligations so we seized the opportunity to visit the famous Niagara Falls. I never knew that the current could be so strong and while it was a breathtaking sight, it was also quite scary. If anyone fell into the water, I doubt they would survive.

The Niagara Falls

The next conference I'll have to attend will be in November in Kaohsiung, Taiwan. I heard there isn't very much to see there, but I may have been misinformed. So if anyone knows of anything that MUST BE SEEN there, do let me know!!!! Or anything that MUST BE EATEN, again, do let me know!!! Sometime between now and January 2007 I'll have to make a trip to Beijing, China...really looking forward to that trip. Always loved going to China; so many things to see and do. Very fascinating!

Anyway, that's it for this long entry. Work's been so busy lately, but I'll try to post an update or two from time to time. Although work now occupies most of my time and actually needs to occupy just about all of it, I just don't feel it's right to let it take over my life. Plus, I don't think I'll survive working 24/7/365 anyway!

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Tue, 18 Oct 2005 16:04:01 GMT

"Skipped a few months but still alive after the exams!"

Ahhhh....have been away from xanga for sooo long! Much has happened since my last entry - the London blasts, my nerve wrecking exams, 10 day trip to Holland, a couple of days in Devon and Cornwall, and finally I'm back in Thailand again.

Firstly, the horrible events....the London blasts were unfortunate and shocking as well as scary and life threatening occuring nearby the library I frequented daily....the exams were as exhausting, strenous and difficult as could be expected and hopefully I fared well. I'll soon find out in November when the results are posted. Fingers crossed I'll be attending the graduation ceremony in December in London as a graduate.

My trip to Holland, on the other hand, was great! As my friend had to work on weekdays, I took the train to different towns and cities just about everyday; The Hague, Leiden, Gorinchem, Rotterdam, Scheveningen, Breda, Amersfoort, etc. Walked so much on this trip my legs and feet ached everyday. Suspect I may have lost a few kilos too. Over the weekend Punch drove us over the border to Belgium which was just over an hour away from the town we were in and the next weekend we visited a couple of outlets where I was able to do a bit of shopping.

Leiden was my favourite town. It was like a little Venice of Holland with canals running throughout the town. It differs in that most of the people speak English and the canals don't stink! A very charming town with pretty houses along the small lanes and roads branching out from the main road where the canal ran.

And during this visit to Holland, I was finally able to visit The Hague or Den Haag as they call it, the home of the ICJ (Int'l Court of Justice or the Peace Palace as they also call it). I'm not too big a fan of int'l law, but hey, I keep hearing about it in my studies so it felt good to actually be able to stand in front of the building itself. Would've took a tour inside too, but luck just wasn't on my side. At least I got a pic in front of it though...heheh The city itself had lots of old architecture to offer such as the Peace Palace, the Binnenhof, Palace Noordeinde, The Prison Gate, City Hall, etc.

Near The Hague is a town called Scheveningen which is by the seaside. So of course I took the opportunity to take a peek at their beach and see how it would compare to our Thai beaches and turns out, as suspected, Thai beaches rule!!! Naturally, we're in the tropics while they're way up there, so ain't no surprise. Nevertheless, had a nice walk along the beach and took tons of pics of some adorable sculptures.

Also took the opportunity to visit Madurodam, a tourist attraction which houses a miniature version of Holland. Must say that the work was very detailed and one of the best miniature attractions I've seen yet, very impressive indeed!!!

I visited Gorichem because I was heading to Castle Loevestein. I was dying to visit a castle and went all the way there and took a ferry ride over to the island where the castle was. The weather was rather hot that day, the temperature in the mid 20 degrees but inside the castle it was very cool as if there actually was air-conditioning. I was aware of the fact that castles were cool in summer due to construction using stone, but I never knew the difference in the temperature between the outside and inside would be so different! It was very pathetic but I was actually looking around for some sort of air-conditioner while I was inside. I was so busy taking pics I missed the last ferry back to the mainland and ended up sharing a boat with a local family who were taking their kids and their friends for an outing to celebrate their son's birthday to a nearby island in hope that there'd be some sort of transportation to the mainland from there. And luckily for me, I was in time to catch the last ferry. I cant imagine spending the night at Castle Loevestein. Would probably be haunted by the castle ghosts at night!

Rotterdam has long been known as an important port city and is also known for its modern unique architecture. I wasn't very keen on visiting Rotterdam to see modern architecture as I was more interested in "old stuff", but having spent a few hours there, I suppose it does have a charm of its own.

Just sooo many pics but little space! Would be overdoing it a bit by putting up pics from Cornwall and Devon. Will have em up on www.photobucket.com or otherwise in my next entry. I'm back in Bangkok now but I find myself missing London. Exam results will be posted November 22nd and the graduation ceremony will be held on December 14th. Hopefully, I'll be in London that day. You'll definitely see a pic of me in my graduation gown in here.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Tue, 21 Jun 2005 14:00:00 GMT

"The last bit of fun for me before d-day..."

I finally got my exam schedule yesterday and i must say i hate August 2005...actually, i hate 2005....full of traumatic experiences despite some sprinkles of good cheer here and there. And my unlucky numbers for this year are August 8, 15, 22 and 25!!! Damn....an exam juz about every monday in August. I think i can actually feel a migraine building up juz thinking bout them.

Though 2005 has been relatively shitty, i have learnt a fair bit:

* especially the pain i had inflicted on others in the past

* and hence the existence of karma,

* that there is more grey than absolute black and white in life (though i've always believed that there are no absolutes, i guess my beliefs have been further confirmed),

* you often cant rely on anyone apart from yourself,

* when you're in a relationship NEVER let yourself believe that it'll last forever....in past relationships at some point i always said to myself that this may be it, but i've learnt that life ain't that easy...better to stay on your toes and have your bags packed ready to move on, at least emotionally..heheh

* to not judge others when i do not agree with their actions as i am probably unaware of the whole nature of their situation and there may be other factors influencing their actions/decisions

* and the scariest thing....i'm more selfish and immoral than i ever thought i was. The power of the dark side can juz be so tempting....heheh

Watched Batman Begins on sunday. What can i say....home made weapons, learning ninja skills from the orient (so cliche and typical of western movies these days - lately farangs just have this trendy fascination for the exotic orient!), a crude looking tank for the bat mobile whose brakes don't function, the first bat signal in the night sky created by tying a criminal up with lots of extra black cloth (wonder how long that took him to get right) ....to sum it up , "Graceless Batman", i suppose. I actually heard a Thai on the street say Ë¹Ñ§àÃ×èÍ§¹ÕéÁÑ¹ sucks ÇèÐ. Sorry Paddy, all this must be breaking your heart, but it is a matter of opinion. Reminded me of the first part of Spiderman actually. I guess all the superheroes have to start off clumsy and graceless. Still, those were my first impressions when i was watching it. Overall, i think it was alright. Christian Bale and Katie Holmes weren't bad...loved Alfred.

Spent a few days with Siri while she was here. Was wonderful having her here. We caught up on a lot things and seems like she's quite happy with life at the moment and i'm so glad for her.

Below are some pics from my college's Thai Society BBQ. The weather's warming up in London so we had a last get together, though we picked a day that was kinda gloomy.....otherwise the UK's warmed up perhaps a little too much...hit 30 degrees celcius over the weekend and many buildings here dont have AC, like my room and the library i frequent for instance. I know, i know...i come from a tropical climate and i'm complaining about the heat in Europe...juz a miserable 30 degrees and often less....but u guyz with AC dont know how it feels without it!!!

What everyone was here for!!! nah... P'Khem and I striking some kinda pose Kris, Earth, me, P'Khem and P'Jeab

Cool pic of Thi..man on fire! / Uhh...remind anyone of hobos on the street??? / P'Poy, P'Pong, P'Mint, P'U and P'Ae

Looks like P'Pong's been caught in the act! / The Musician, the Khun Chai, and the Diligent Student / P'Poy and I

Earth & Kris starting the fire the old fashioned way...lotsa fanning! / Jay and I / P'U and P'Ae gnawing away at their chicken

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Sun, 12 Jun 2005 19:45:24 GMT

"Been a while....time sure does fly!"

Been over a month since my last update. So much to say, so little time, so little diligence to, but do wanna update!

Where to start?! ok, 2 trips since i last updated - one to Stonehenge and Salisbury with Kit and Tay and the the other to Blenheim Palace in Oxford with Gary. Unfortunately, the weather wasn't altogether pleasant on both trips, rather cold on the first and was raining on the second, but all in all, they were fun. Stonehenge was smaller and less spectacular than everyone expected, but how can you not visit the place when you're in the UK!!! Salisbury Cathedral, the highlight of Salisbury, was nice, not particularly breathtaking, but had a nice atmosphere. Saw the infamous Magna Carta there too....one of 2 or 3 remaining original copies. Too bad photography was not permitted. As for Blenheim Palace, it was beautiful! A very nice palace...lovely gardens...even the rain didnt stop us from walking in the gardens and taking pics...yes, we were very determined indeed.

Tay, I and Kit at Stonehenge Me with the "piles of stones" in the background

(1) Me again...heheh.. (2) Tay and Kit sneeking bites of their croissants cautiously at the back of the coach in case the driver caught them eating! And yes, Tay was actually trying to stick part of his head into his bag (3) Goofing off with Tay

Shots of Salisbury Cathedral

Bridge in front of the palace gates Blenheim Palace The Water Garden

(1) Gary leaping for joy?! Didn't think I'd catch that one did you Gary!! (2) And that's me in the rain but determined to get a cute pic...

Gary and I

Apart from escaping London, caught The Kingdom of Heaven with Patrick, and Star Wars Episode III and Mr. and Mrs. Smith with Jay. Must say I enjoyed all three movies. Was looking forward to watching The Kingdom of Heaven for a while...it was worth the wait..and NOT cuz Orlando Bloom's in it, although his character in this movie redeemed the other in Troy where I was praying he'd be the next to die in every scene. The movie emphasised that in the fight over Jerusalem, all that squabble over the city, it's not really the land that matters the most, but the people inhabiting it. Star Wars was just classic as usual. R2D2 was hilarious!!! I didnt know it could sort of screech or squeal until I watched this part! And as for Mr. and Mrs. Smith, it was really funny too...laughed a lot..assassin married couple who arent aware of one another's identity. I recommend watching it though I dont altogether like the ending; didnt really make sense to me, but good entertainment all the same. I guess it's trying to tell you that honesty is the most important thing in a relationship. Hmm...kinda find it strange that I enjoyed all the movies I watched this much....could it be that it's cuz I dont have a tv here?! That would juz sooo saddd!!! No, no..they WERE good!

Siri and P'Keng flew in on Friday and will be here for about a week. Will probably be meeting up with her tomorrow. So excited to see her!!! It's wonderful to have a close friend from home here! Really improves my gloomy, stressful existence here...heheh. With regard to studies, joined a couple more study groups, hoping to form a new one...and praying that everything will work out and I'll be able to return home with that piece of paper that costed a couple of million baht and caused me all sorts of pain and sufferring, physical, emotional, you name it!!!

Friday, May 06, 2005

Fri, 06 May 2005 04:27:05 GMT

"Counting down till finals...May - June - July - August....."

Life is finally back to normal with family gone, Tam gone (friend from Thailand that was visiting me) and the start of the third term. Finals are not in the distant future anymore and it's finally time to start counting down...and the clock starts ticking..now! Wouldn't be freaking out if I was in Bangkok, but over here my courses are really tough in addition to my doing more or less nothing for the past 5-6 months. Soooo much material to cover!

Enough of that....while Tam was here we had a blast visiting all the tourist attractions (turning pro soon, in terms of tour guide, so if any of you are planning on visiting London, juz holler!) - Tower of London (4th time!), Bath, Cotswold, watched Phantom of the Opera, Buckingham Palace (3rd time!), London Eye (2nd time!), Swindon outlet, and took the rest of the London shopping district by storm...heheh...yeah, seemed like my friend had an unlimited budget. Had hell of a time dragging his two suitcases to Paddington Stations to board the Heathrow Express to the airport...both handles on one suitcase have come off so go figure!

I must say that our best outings were to Swindon where lotsa shopping was done...prices cut down 50% in some cases, Bath and the Cotswold - beautiful scenery, and the Phantom of the Opera musical which was simply fabulous, marvelous, breathtaking, unforgettable...I dunno, it was my first musical and I was sooo impressed! Loved it! Would even watch it again. If you're into musicals or have the opportunity to watch one, I definitely recommend it.

This friend of mine is peculiar in one way; he's rather shy and doesn't like crowds (not the usual, "I don't like crowded places", but really can't bear it, which I'm assuming is due to self-consciousness) - he wont take photos when there are many people around. We had to wait for the crowds to subside a fair bit wherever we went (which, on the upside, often got us nicer pics). As a result, and also due to time constraints and coincidence, we ended up taking lotsa pics of London by night. And yes, there were so few people around that we could go crazy in front of the camera.

Here are just a few we took nearby the London Eye.

Houses of Parliament Tower Bridge London Eye

We took a day trip to Bath and Cotswold. The city of Bath houses the old Roman baths supossedly nearly 2000 years old. Water in these baths are supplied by a nearby hot spring believed to have the ability to improve health, increase vitality and also cure a variety of ailments. The city itself is charming with a number of beautiful spots to see such as the Circus and the Royal Crescent. As for Cotswold, we only had time to visit a small section of it, a preserved village to be exact. The quaint little village is full of small stone houses. Its atmosphere is so serene being surrounded by trees and hills.

Roman Bath Scenery in Bath Cotswold

Below is the Circus. It is simply a circle of private houses built in the style of Palladian palaces. Though they are merely houses which are to this day occupied, the Circus is lovely. It's quite a feeling to be standing in the middle of it which is a large circular patch of grass with old trees in the center and whichever way you turn you see the continuous row of houses. Below are three pics I took and have put together in order to try to give you a feel of the "circular" feeling you get when you're there (just imagine the other half of the circle yourself..heheh).

The Circus

Just some random pics...

Arrrrghhh....still got so many pics I'd like to put up but can't....anyway, if anyone's interested in seeing more of these sites or of me and my friend..heheh...then just click:

http://photobucket.com/albums/v665/carolinewong/Easter%20Vacation%20with%20Tam/ (password's caroline)

Hope everyone's been doing well lately, free from illness (esp. colds! lotsa that going round here in London!), and those of you who are going through your exam period - BEST OF LUCK!!! Have a great weekend y'all!

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Tue, 19 Apr 2005 02:32:32 GMT

"Distraction overload!"

My family's been visiting me in London since March 30th and my brother just flew back to Sydney today while my parents will remain here till Sunday. Lately, I feel my room is some sort of inn. Before my brother came, an ex's girlfriend lodged with me, and next week another friend from Bangkok will be coming to London and staying with me till my term starts. Basically, I've been putting up people throughout my Easter vacation which started on March 18th! Also been and will continue to be playing tour guide in London. It's been nice having my family here with me, though I do wish I could have been the one doing the flying instead...I miss home and my friends. Anyway, my brother's been to London before so we took the parents to most of the tourist attractions like Buckingham Palace to watch the changing of the guard, the Tower of London (damn, by the end of Easter vacation, I'd have been there 4 times!!!), 3-4 museums (London's crawling with museums!), Portabello Market, Harrods and the rest of the shopping areas, Houses of Parliament, Westminster Abbey, etc. Been taking soooo many photos lately! But most are of the sights in London, not many with me in em, heheh.... I've finally been able to visit all those places where my friends n family tell me not to go to yet cuz they wanna go with me. YAAYAYAYY!!! I love walking around London; just love the atmosphere, the architecture, old buildings, parks, etc. My brother and I often snuck off and went walking round taking photos...kept walking till our feet ached by the time we got home. Visited a haunted house too, but as it is used as an office now, we couldn't get in. Too bad we were there at round 19.30 and it was still too bright, so of course we didnt experience any paranormal activity..heheh...if the tubes didnt stop running at around midnight, we'd probably have gone again to try our luck! Just got too many pics to put up so check out this link if you've got nothing better to do (password: caroline):

http://photobucket.com/albums/v665/carolinewong/Easter%20Vacation/

Really excited that I'm getting to see my family and friends in London, but quite worried too cuz I was planning on catching up on the previous terms' reading before classes resumed and it's been difficult to do so with everyone here. Plus, all this meeting up with people every single day is wearing me out.

For some reason, a few weeks back these quizzes were popping up everywhere and made me curious, so I tried a few...heheh...couldn't resist such nonsense.

You Are 24 Years Old

24
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatagequiz/

Hmm....the above result of the age test is no doubt reassuring, but i sincerely doubt its accuracy...i dont act 24! i sometimes think i dont even act 22! , otherwise I'd be a responsible adult and have my head buried in a textbook by now!!! (quit msn, friendster, hi5 n all....eww....what a depressing life!!! Definitely couldnt do that!)

Your Seduction Style: The Charmer

You're a master at intimate conversation and verbal enticement.
You seduce with words, by getting people to open up to you.
By establishing this deep connection quickly, people feel under your power.
And then you've got them exactly where you want them!

http://www.blogthings.com/seducerquiz/

umm...uhh...any exs' reading? if any of you are, do let me know if this is accurate. it would be interesting to know!

You Are A Romantic Realist

You are more romantic than 50% of the population.

You tend to be grounded when it comes to romance.
Sure, you can fall hard... but only for someone you've gotten to know.
And once you're in love, you can be a total romantic goofball...
But you'd never admit it to your friends!

http://www.blogthings.com/romanticorrealisticquiz/

Easter vacation's going by so fast! In about 2 weeks classes will resume again and finals are coming up in mid-August. Time does fly, doesn't it. Just hope it doesn't fly too fast towards the exams....so NOT ready for them!

One of my best friends in the world (anyone from RIS remember Punch?) is being transferred by his company to work in the Netherlands next month. I'm so excited! Although we wont be in the same country, perhaps we could visit one another or meet up somewhere in Europe. It'll be great! Will definitely be fun!

Oh, and caught The Ring II last week. Though this was the American version....ONCE AGAIN, I have to say it WASN'T scary. It was actually a bit funny, especially towards the end there was this one line spoken by the mum, "I'm not your fucking mother!" (if I remember correctly), which was just hilarious! At first I thought "damn, it's probably just me who finds this funny", but after looking around, I found that other people in the audience were giggling too, so heheh....I dunno, you just gotta see it yourself to get it. Anyway, entertaining movie I guess.

Been reading a new book lately and discovered this poem which reflects a stage in my whirlpool of relationships which I will hopefully reach soon. Thought it was encouraging and nourishing to the soul, so I'll end this entry with it:

“Love After Love”

By Derek Walcott

The time will come

when, with elation,

you will greet yourself arriving

at your own door, in your own mirror,

and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.

You will love again the stranger who was your self.

Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart

to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored

for another, who knows you by heart.

Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,

peel your own image from the mirror.

Sit. Feast on your life.

A little late but, HAPPY SONGKRAN EVERYONE!!!

Monday, March 21, 2005

Mon, 21 Mar 2005 23:40:20 GMT

"What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger!"

This past week or so has been a bit of a battle for me; a constant effort to keep my spirits up and mind free from memories. I can't believe I've actually been out everyday...just all over the place, wherever I can go:

Mon-Tues: Classes, library and watched Hotel Rawanda with my Greek flatmate

Wed: Watched The Ring (japanese version) with a friend (total disapointment - so NOT scary)

Thurs: Went to hear an Irish band play at a pub as it was St. Patrick's Day and took part in a simple Irish dance which reminded me of my kindergarten and first grade days in Sydney.

Fri: Lunch with Patrick at this all u can eat sushi bar which I have chosen to call the "iggli gigli" and i'm sure Patrick will insist on correcting me yet again. First time I've met up with him in months! Ice skating in the evening at Alexandria Palace which is a nice rink situated on a hill. Wasn't too fun this time since i fell thrice!!!! Not at all a good skater, but usually at least i dont fall...well, different skates this time and ice so maybe that's it or else my friend was just trying to cheer me up. Went home with two bruised knees (reminds me of my days of volleyball in highschool), hip and elbow. Should be fine in a couple of weeks and it wont deter me from skating!

Weekend: Out with Patrick visiting the Natural History Museum, Harrods, dinner at Chinatown. Attended the ULU Symphony Orchestra's 50th Anniversary Concert on sunday evening. A german friend living in my house was a violinist in the orchestra so went to show my support with another Greek housemate.

As for today, was out with Patrick again, went to the Tate Modern art museum....was interesting. Looks like these few days we've really been making up for the months that we haven't met up, which is great. Always nice to hang out with old friends.

When I get back to my dorm in the evenings, I spend my time chatting the night away with my greek flatmate. Sometimes we drink a bit, he smokes, i eat dessert, listen to greek rock, thai/jap/korean/chinese pop that i have till the wee hrs of the morning and finally turn in at 3-4 am. Then wake up at nearly noon. Not sure if this is a healthy lifestyle, probably not, but at the moment this routine is what keeps me going.

Been browsing through some love poetry (yes, sappy me likes poetry) and found a couple of familiar ones which I never really thought would appeal to me but now they sort of do. I think I'll end this entry with these two poems...

I Many Times Thought
by Emily Dickinson (1830-1886)

I many times thought peace had come

When peace was far away,

As wrecked men deem they sight the land

When far at sea they stay.

And struggle slacker, but to prove,

As hopelessly as I,

That many the fictitious shores

Before the harbor lie.

When We Two Parted
by George Gordon, Lord Byron

(1788 - 1824)

When we two parted

In silence and tears,

Half broken-hearted

To sever the years,

Pale grew thy cheek and cold,

Colder, thy kiss;

Truly that hour foretold

Sorrow to this.

The dew of the morning

Sunk, chill on my brow,

It felt like the warning

Of what I feel now.

Thy vows are all broken,

And light is thy fame;

I hear thy name spoken,

And share in its shame.

They name thee before me,

A knell to mine ear;

A shudder comes o'er me...

Why wert thou so dear?

They know not I knew thee,

Who knew thee too well..

Long, long shall I rue thee,

Too deeply to tell.

In secret we met

In silence I grieve

That thy heart could forget,

Thy spirit deceive.

If I should meet thee

After long years,

How should I greet thee?

With silence and tears.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Sat, 12 Mar 2005 18:33:05 GMT

"And the cycle goes on..."

My boyfriend and I just broke up a few days ago, so i'm in a rough spot at the moment and my blog's somewhere i'll use to vent. how sad is that?! neway, anything to keep occupied.....perhaps later even textbooks!

this isnt like my first love, first break up tragedy in life sorta thing, but i guess being away from home, its harder to cope with. i'm usually stronger than this, but this time it seems a bit harder. i was chatting with a friend on msn a couple nights ago after the "incident" and i said it seems like i get emotionally weaker in terms of relationships as the yrs go by...he felt the same way about himself and said its cuz as we grow older we take our relationships more seriously and put more effort into them. mentioned this to another friend yesterday afternoon and his wise words were that in our teens long lasting relationships, marriage, etc., are still hazy like fairytales, but in our twenties we are in the position to make things happen and everything is therefore brought into reality. hence, we actually take our relationships seriously and work hard to make them work. as we put in so much effort, it hurts more when they dont work out as we hoped.

i think both of my friends make sense. have u ever felt like all this love and break up is like an endless cycle? basically, u meet someone, get to know them, perhaps fall in love, then it ends...and no matter how it ends it usually involves some level of pain. i'm tired of this cycle...in times like this i just think, why cant we just meet our soulmate and get it all over with; just end up with whoever we're suppossed to. at a proper age simply be told by God or whoever's up there governing our fates (i do believe that a certain extent of our lives are in our hands but i also believe in fate) who we're meant for and just settle down. i know i know....ppl say, where's the fun in that?! it's the journey that counts....yeah yeah....i get all that, just not very receptive to it right now.

these past few days i've just been trying to hang out with people, stay out a lot...lunches, dinners, watched movies 2 days in a row, ice skating, pubs, etc. Since bout x'mas till now, lotsa ppl i know have been having relationship problems and come asking for advice or merely comfort..so much that i could actually write Love Actually 2. usually i'm here 24/7 for these friends but in my present condition, i've got nothing to give anyone...i'm struggling myself. we broke up on good terms though, and are still friends, but like in all my break ups (even though i'm the one who initiates it) i feel that i'm losing someone dear to me. i know i'll get over this, the question is just when. its not impossible, but how long is it gonna take?! time heals all....i tell my friends this and i have to force myself to believe it now. i hate this.

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Sun, 06 Mar 2005 21:25:53 GMT

Solving this jigsaw puzzle and posting about this sweepstakes for Big Red makes me eligible for free Xanga Premium for life...

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Sun, 27 Feb 2005 01:15:07 GMT

"I miss my Land of Smiles..."

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Sorry guys, that was just me missing home and it just HAD to be in Thai!

Yesterday I caught Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou with a friend after lunch. I had seen the preview a couple of weeks back when I watched Meeting the Fockers (which was just as hilarious as Meet the Parents) and had thought that it would be quite a good comedy. The cast was pretty interesting; I felt that it was an unusual combination of actors/actresses. It had an unusual plot and though it seemed funny, for me it was just one of those movies which could just keep on amusing you, but couldn't really make you laugh. Then again, it simply may have not hit my funny bone though I couldn't help smiling throughout the movie.

At 18.00 we attended a little seminar organised by the Thai Society of Imperial College, U. of London on the problems in the three southern provinces of Thailand (Yala, Pattani and Narathiwat). In the last year or so there have been unfortunate violent acts going on there as a group of Muslims wish to obtain autonomy and separate the three provinces (most of the poplulation there are Muslims) from the rest of Thailand. There were three speakers: a representative of the military, an advisor to the Thai ambassador in London, and a representative of the Tourism of Thailand. They informed us of the facts and effects of the situation, answered our questions as well as took note of our suggestions.

Some of the main unfortunate events that have occurred are the stealing of guns from a military camp, burning of 20 schools, a confrontation between the public authorities and the separatists resulting in slightly over 80 deaths. This is a very complex and delicate problem that cannot be dealt with easily and quickly as it has to do with peoples' beliefs, way of life and history. On the surface such acts are "terrorist acts", however we were told that they cannot be classified in that category as the people who took part in the acts were not not terrorists but a combination of extreme followers of the faith, small time bandits, drug addicts (tests were actually conducted after capture and the results were positive), those who hope to gain from the chaos, innocent brainwashed recruits, etc., and therefore are actually "separatists". New recruits are often discreetly selected at religious class sessions, similar to Christian sunday school, then are sometimes trained to fight and work for the group by those familiar with such activities from other countries with large Muslim populations. Apart from these separatists, the majority of the Muslim population in the three provinces appear to be satisfied with the way things have been and simply wish to live peacefully.

At present, the government has made numerous attempts to resolve the situation, but alas, in vain. In one instance, due to the negligence of a government official in charge, actually made matters worse. As the region is prone to sudden violent acts, it can be dangerous for government officials in the region and this has caused reluctance in many government servants to remain in the region and as a result there are those who request for transfers. Nevertheless, slow progress is being made. The government has projects and various plans lined up in order put an end to the problem, though at present it still appears to be a dilemma.

I have a number of comments to make on the situation but as it is a delicate and sensitive issue, would rather not get into detail here. Over a cup of coffee would be nice though. For the sake of the well being of the country and the Thai people I hope the situation is resolved soon with as little sufferring and loss as possible.

I would just like to say that what I've written here are merely facts from my recollection of the seminar and appologise if anyone finds my facts inaccurate. I urge those who are interested in the issue to follow the situation from the news and other various relevant sources with an open mind and unbiased consideration when reading the facts and opinions.

I believe that it is not wrong to have strong belief in one's faith nor is it wrong for the government to try to maintain unity in the nation. However, as a Thai citizen, I would like my country to remain as one as is stated in Section 1 of the Constitution of the Kingdom of Thailand:

"Thailand is one and indivisible Kingdom."

And may it always be so.